Google Pagerank for (Naughty) Dummies

I got a pleasant surprise this friday when I accessed this blog (and also the other blog I manage with my friend - Happy Tripper!). Finally got some juice in the form of pagerank. Yeah it’s just PR1 but it’s a start.

This is the 2nd time that there has been a pagerank update ever since I started blogging, at first I didn’t get all the teeth gnashing (and crowing) that came with the updates but as I went along I got a better understanding of all the hoopla.

For those who don’t know what pagerank is well I’ll give you a long answer and a short answer.

LONG ANSWER

Google PageRank is a link analysis algorithm that assigns a numerical weighting to each element of a hyperlinked set of documents, such as the World Wide Web, with the purpose of “measuring” its relative importance within the set. The algorithm may be applied to any collection of entities with reciprocal quotations and references. The numerical weight that it assigns to any given element E is also called the PageRank of E and denoted by PR(E).

SHORT ANSWER

Google Pagerank is the internet equivalent of a penis!

The bigger it is the better you feel about yourself and the more other people think you’re a stud. Guys who have big penises probably get more action since people think they’re better in bed, it’s also the same way in the blogosphere. Blogs with high pagerank get more action (comments, links) in the hopes that they get a backlink in return (and get a taste of that pagerank juice).

Just as there’s a whole cottage industry involved in penis enlargement (99.99% of spam probably falls under this), there’s a plenty of sites offering advice on how to increase your pagerank. In both instances money paid out is required, whereas in penis enlargement scams require some form of purchase of pills or pumps the pagerank increase schemes asks you to pay for links or directory listings.

And lastly, the best illustration that pagerank functions as a penis is that when Google downgrades your pagerank it feels like your penis just got cut off. Ouch!